Kilohana Plantation "Train Ride"

So, being as I am in a delicate condition, Kevin and I looked for at least one activity we could do together besides just eat, which we did plenty of, thank you very much kalua pig!  When the concierge told us about this train ride through an old sugar plantation followed by a stroll through a fruit orchard where we could pick fruit to eat and a picnic lunch, I thought that it would be the perfect day spent riding the rails and relaxing with my honey.

WRONG!!

I definitely admit that this adventure, or rather misadventure, was entirely my fault.  Waste of time and money!

Let me explain...

Look how happy we are at the beginning of the cursed 4 hour waste...

The advertised 4 hour "Kilohana Train Ride and Lunch" comprised of a 20 minute ride around a circle that had the beginning point in sight the entire time.  When we arrived at the end and looked at our watches, we started getting a little nervous.

So what did we do with the rest of the 3 hour and 40 minutes?

We fed some pigs (admittedly fun)

and some goats (admittedly adorable),

hung out with some chickens, 

and then started a 2.5 hour hike that they failed to mention.

Because there were a lot of older people and another very pregnant girl on the hike (who were as confused about WHY we were going on a hike, when it wasn't on the brochure, as we were...and much less prepared clothing and fitness-wise), they gave us walking sticks.  I felt silly using mine, but did anyway since everyone BUT Kevin decided to use one.

Hence the picture with the silly stick.

I guess we were ahead of schedule so we spent 15 minutes staring at the tree above and below.  

See the face?

The "highlight" of the hike was when our jungle guide went all "Tarzan" on us and swung across a stream.  No one else wanted to try...not the two pregnant girls, their husbands, or the retirees.

After the hike in the jungle we stopped and had the promised lunch.  Now, at the beginning we were asked if we would like a turkey wrap or a salad.  Of course both Kevin and I chose the wrap.  Salad, really?  Anyway, since there is a high end restaurant attached to the plantation, I assumed that the lunch would come from them and it would be the most amazing turkey wrap we've ever had.  

Do you know what it was?  They gave each of us 3 of those turkey pinwheel wraps from Costco, freaking COSTCO!!  I really don't like those stupid little wraps so I gave mine to the ever-present (and crowing) chickens.

Thankfully we were allowed as many chips, drink, and fruit (fresh picked from the orchard) as we wanted, but I could not believe they handed me food straight from Costco...and not even their best food, either!  Next time get me one of those chicken bakes or a slice of pizza, cheapo!

After our lunch we walked over to the orchard and saw the fruit.

Here is a cute little pineapple.  Fun.     

The next few pictures are an inside joke that only Mormons would get.  Since that is probably most of you, please don't think that Kevin and I are the worst kind of blasphemers!  We just could not resist.

I swear it is the same fruit!

I guess I should have taken a bite first, but I made Kevin do it...I wasn't sure what it would taste like!

Jamboo fruit wasn't forbidden in this garden!

Okay, I really did complain A LOT in this post, but we spent a bunch of money on this excursion and it was such a bust!  If it hadn't cost so much, I wouldn't be so angry, but note to any travellers going to Kauai...skip the "4 hour Costco lunch and long hike" tour and just ride the train around instead!