Phobia! Part 2.5

Or how about airplanes! I could go on and on about how gross airplanes are! Maybe it is because I fly fairly regularly (several times a year...tomorrow, in fact!) that I notice and think about yucky airplanes. Have you ever sat down in a seat on an airplane and felt that warm, been-sat-in-by-thousands-of-butts feeling, which then leads you to think about what the other thousands of passengers that sat in that seat did to it? The passengers that got a little airsick, the passengers that needed to use the restroom while the seatbelt light was on and didn’t quite make it, the crumbs, the gum stuck inside every crevice of the seat, etc, etc and on and on! Maybe you don’t think of those things, but I sure do!

And then the whole issue of the smell of the air! Oh, putrescence! [Author’s note: name the movie from which I first learned that word! Hint: very quotable 80’s movie starring a love sick puppy turned pirate and Sean Penn’s ex-wife] The stale smell of the recycled air makes my stomach churn every time I board a plane. The only thing that helps me overcome that nausea is the thought that I am so happy that I am on the plane and not sitting in the airport waiting to board. From one that has spent the night in the airport a couple of times now and other countless hours waiting to board the blessed plane, the “putrescence,” as it were, is sometimes a welcome sign of progress to my final destination.

Another thing that gets me every time I fly is the headrest of the seat…what if the passenger before me had dandruff, or worse—LICE!! From a girl who escaped lice when my little sister brought it home in elementary school and then proceeded to share it with two of my other siblings, I am not about to get lice from an airplane! You might think me paranoid, I mean, who has lice nowadays? But I prefer to say I am cautious. You may now ask what I do to protect my perfect scalp from an infestation while flying and then you would be surprised to find out that I don’t do anything! I just sit there and cringe inside! It is the same with movie theatre seat headrests…I don’t want to look like a germophobic freak by putting something over it, so I just try to forget about it and watch the movie.

[Author’s note: I would like to report that writing this post was very therapeutic for me and while I cringed the entire time, I think it was, in the end, helpful. Additionally, my efforts to hold back on my impulses to protect me from germs are helping me overcome my preoccupation with them and I am now able to repress a lot of my inner cringes. Pat on the back, with a freshly washed hand of course, for me!]