Phobia! Part 2.0

2. Germs! – I have a minor case of germophobia, and where do you find germs? Public places…and where do you find a lot of germs? Arcades. They just simply gross me out. I feel dirty while I am there and just have this unquenchable impulse to feverishly wash my hands over and over until they are clean and sterile. Does that sound a little OCD? I promise, I am not OCD, I just cannot stand the thought of touching an arcade joystick that has probably never been cleaned and has been sneezed on and handled by unhygienic, sweaty and pimply teenage boys that haven’t showered in days, no less washed their hands. I know that arcades are somewhat a thing of the past, but I promise they still exist and people still frequent them. When Kevin and I first started dating, I think I almost ended our relationship when he suggested going to the local nickelcade (talk about a cheap date! Then, I guess, if you knew Kevin, you would think it appropriate!) and I refused to go for the pathetic reason of it grossing me out. Thankfully, I had other things going for me (great personality, cute face, great smile, big brain…I mean, what can I say!) or that would have been it!

I guess I should rephrase that I am not a real germophobe, like I said, I have a minor case…I just get really grossed out by certain things and I am really trying to overcome it. For example, I am not the only one that is grossed out by shopping cart handles! It is people like me that got the grocery stores to provide sanitizer wipes…now even Wal-Mart carries them! I can say, however, that as part of my germophobic therapy, I don’t use the sani -wipes in the grocery store…I cringe every time I clasp the handle as shivers go speeding down my spine, but I walk strongly on knowing that I am slowly, one shopping cart handle at a time, overcoming my germophobia.

This one goes hand in hand with toilet seat covers in restrooms. Growing up in California, ALL restrooms had toilet seat covers and thus I always felt clean in even the dirtiest of restrooms…but then I moved to Utah. In Utah, toilet seat covers, my safety net from the who-knows-what that is on a toilet seat, were nowhere to be found and it was the first time in my life that I had to make the decision between creating my own out of three strips of toilet paper, or (gasp) going without! For the first year of my residency there, I had the routine of placing toilet paper on the seat to protect my precious bum from the terrors lying in wake to attack me while I do my business. But then I met Kevin…and Kevin freed me from the mental germy psychosis that kept me from simply sitting down. Kevin taught me that you cannot get sick from sitting on a toilet seat (although that is not what was really keeping me from baring it…I just think that everyone else’s bare bums are yucky and only mine is clean and sanitary!), that my desk has more bacteria on it than the human waste receptacle (true fact!), and that I am a weirdo by making such a big production out of going to the restroom. Not wanting to be a weirdo, I have since (gasp) gone without in many situations, except in places known for their horrid restrooms like Wal-Mart, McDonald’s, or gas stations, where I am pretty sure they NEVER clean.

[Author’s note: in Virginia they do not have toilet seat covers readily available in public restrooms and I have to admit that I am starting to revert to my old toilet paper ways!]